My Explainin' is Comin'

Hello everyone,

The reason why I am taking these mental health days at Spot Coffee (with the exception of today due to work) is because I have been really suffering for the past few months, maybe even years. Though I am much more successful in finding who I am and it has actually helped me become strong, I am still fragile inside. Even with the fact I can still be persistent after all these years; these issues still take a toll at my inner self.

I really needed to go to Spot Coffee because much has happened there in my life. I do not feel comfortable sharing with the public what all happened there, but lets just say that "I discovered who I am at Spot". Going back for my reflection moments have been really good for me. I have never felt more rejuvenated and stronger in my life. My thoughts are no longer: "It might be over"... a new sense of optimism is
created for my purpose to keep on being the man who I am today. I can't even imagine an ending date to any of this success, though I know how naive it sounds in the real world.

In my life, there is no such thing as giving up. I know there are many people of whom I am not in their good books, but there are still very dear people to me of whom they are an integral part of my life. I do not need to feel justified, because quite frankly, there is no 'right' way to living. I don't mean this conceitedly, but no one one this earth truly knows (excuse my profanity) what the f*** they are doing. By no means would I ever say I am better than anyone. Is it possible to believe we are equal (on a human level)? There are so many times I would really like to think and embody that principle of human existence.

Anywho, I know I will be back at Spot tomorrow afternoon, hopefully to gain a piece of the puzzle, or to just keep waiting. That I do not know.

Kind of excited for tomorrow actually. One thing I have gained in my life, I kind of like mystery and getting to the bottom of it. These mental health days are working out extremely well and I can feel good drinking my coffee and eating macaroni and cheese (yes, I live off of both those things!) If I have to continue the journey, I will accept that predicament and let it be. Besides, there is never a time to stop discovering things about one's self.

It is scary knowing I will be moving back to Canada in a month, but that does not stop me from living my life. Even though I will be in a different country, there are no deadlines. That's what I have overtime come to accept about maybe acheiving the most wonderful things possible that life might be able to offer.

Okay. I don't know why I am ecstatic for tomorrow. Whatever the outcome might be, I am looking forward to it. It's called living the mysteries of the unknown. I can handle the thrill. :)

Write to you tomorrow.

Love,
William